I am able to write again...

Jesse's life ended abruptly and tragically; it created a huge hole in our lives. I cried every day. Our holistic vet, pet chiropracter, and friend, Dr. Heather Evans, said the one thing that was consoling -- 'he stayed with you as long as he could.'

But it seemed like such a short time! He had been diagnosed with diabetes only 3 years earlier, and my daughter and her husband were ready to have him put down at that time. I begged to take him, pretty much refused to give him back after puppysitting for him while they went to the East Coast on vacation. But the time had passed so quickly. He was so athletic, in great health otherwise, had tons of energy, and was my personal trainer. We ran, we jogged, we played at the dog parks, we traipsed around lakes and up and down the sidewalks near the Mississippi River in Minneapolis and St. Paul. I forgot that he had a chronic illness; I forgot to consider every day a blessing. I expected him to continue to have great health.

His diabetes went only slightly out of control earlier in the year. The doctor increased his dosage of insulin, which made him a little spacey, or so it seemed. So we went to Dr. Churchill at the U of M for a specially-designed people-food diet, as I thought the processed food might be blocking his metablolism of nutrients. We never did completely get the blood sugar regulated, and this proved to be a time bomb.

A sinus infection caused Jesse's blood sugar to go out of whack, and caused him to become resistant to the Vetsulin that he was taking. It was this that spiraled into disaster. But the silent, unspoken threat during this time was that his immune system was compromised by the lack of regulation of the blood sugar. He already had two issues with his endocrine system -- the diabetes and hypothyroidism. The lymphoma crept in and stealthily took over. It was this that was increasing the resistance. There was nothing to be done.

Afterward, I kept thinking, 'if only we'd had just one more year with Jesse'. But time wasn't the issue -- focus was. Every day was a gift.

Jesse Bear Brown, a Great Dog

How can I write his story? I am devastated by the suddenness of his loss, yet I am grateful for his life, and all of those who have made his passing a little more bearable. So, how can I not write? I hope to share his story here, and ask all those who knew him to add their experiences with him.